It's always hard to be the the new kid on the block-even at a friendly dance venue. It can be especially difficult for older dancers because of what we perceive as natural barriers; our age relative to the majority of dancers on the floor, our limited dance ability or knowledge if we are a beginning dancer, and the dreaded dirty old man/woman we fear we might be perceived as by dancing with people much younger than ourselves. I would venture to say that just about every new dancer has had one of those fears regardless of age. Older women sometimes have one more-the idea that the lady should always be asked, never the asker. These tips are for getting to know people at dance venues and are mainly for the beginning dancer-but not exclusively. I'll address some of the other issues in another post.
Most dance venues provide lessons or at least a drop-in lesson before the dance. Take the lesson, be sure to introduce yourself as you rotate partners and take note of the partners who give you a positive response. When the dancing starts ask some of those people to dance. You can also mention that you are new to the venue. Sometimes your partner will introduce you to others who will be fun to dance with.
When you are not dancing watch the dancers on the floor and look for someone you might want to ask to dance at some point in the evening. Check out the better dancers too. They are always inspiration and someday you'll be dancing with them!
If you are taking classes where there is no social dance afterward, find some dance buddies from your class and make plans to visit a dance venue together. There is comfort in numbers but be sure to ask new people at the venue to dance as well.
Be patient! Lindy Hop in particular is a very friendly dance scene and many of the people who come to dance also come to hang out with their friends. If you feel like you are being ignored it may just be that people don't know you yet. If you aren't dancing, find a friendly looking person, introduce yourself and ask them questions about the venue, how long they have been dancing, etc. It may take a little while before people get to know you but persistence will pay off. It's not about you personally, it's just a human thing.
Volunteer! Many dance venues rely on volunteers to do various jobs (work the door, set up, clean up, etc.) and often give the volunteers free admittance to the dance or free/reduced rate classes. You'll be helping the dance community and becoming a valuable part of it at the same time.
In Lindy Hop,the old rules about men only doing the asking went out the window a long time ago! If you are a woman, ASK! Yes, it's true we want to feel "chosen" some of the time but the quickest way to find friends to dance with is to do the asking in the beginning. I guarantee that in a little while, after some of those leaders see your charming smile and your enthusiasm, you will be asked to dance.
Continue to build on your dance skills. The better you become the more fun it will be for you to dance and be danced with!
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