"Mind your p's and q's!" I wasn't ever sure what the alphabet had to do with it but I did know that someone was reminding me to mind my manners! We use them dancing too. Here are some tips (in no particular order) on dancing with anyone regardless of age.
Be respectful. Politely ask someone to dance. Don't just stick your hand out at them or wave them onto the dance floor. If you don't want to dance at the moment, politely decline (I'm talking with my friends right now. I'll dance with you later or Sorry, I'm not dancing at the moment or Sorry, I promised this dance to someone else. I'll find you for the next one.) If you told someone you would dance with them later do make an effort to find them at some point in the evening for that dance. If you have told someone you are not dancing that song, it's polite to sit that one out.
Accidents happen! If you accidentally place your hand on a "forbidden zone" apologize immediately and make a real effort not to let it happen again. Partner dancing means touching but there are prescribed areas that are acceptable. Followers are especially sensitive to this.
Be aware of your partner's comfort zone. This is especially important to slower music when partners often dance quite a bit in closed position. Just because the couple next to you looks like they are trying to merge as one doesn't mean the person you are dancing with feels the same about doing that with you. If you feel any resistance from your partner during a dance you shouldn't try to bend them to your will.
Watch out for your partner on the floor-Followers you can do this too! Leaders should take care to protect their partners from being bumped, run into and stepped on but accidents can happen. Always apologize to your partner and the other dancers involved whether you feel it's your fault or not. A Follower can also pay attention to the dancers around her. Lindy Hop, especially, can move in many directions on the dance floor. A Follower can give her partner a verbal warning (especially if she see's someone behind the Leader who is about to move into the same space) or gently press his shoulder in a "hold back" signal or move her own body (when in open position) to avoid a collision. If you aren't sure what to do to avoid accidents ask your dance instructor about floor craft.
Don't wear out your welcome! If you discover that Sam or Susie Collegefreshman is a friendly dancer don't try to dominate their time all evening. One or two dances a night is enough.
Know your limitations!It's OK not to dance to the blazing tempos if you know it's going to make you uncomfortable. If you've asked someone to dance (or have already accepted a dance) before the music starts and you realize it's too fast for you, you can always apologize and ask for a rain-check in the future for a dance to a slower tempo. Do have dance buddies you can practice to faster tempos with. The same goes for slower tempos. If all you know how to do to slower music is the High School Two Step, take some classes that focus on slower dancing skills.
Avoid the Bear Hug dip. Some Leaders, thinking they are keeping their Followers safe during a dip, turn their Followers into their chest and hold on tight. Guys, it feels more like a big bear hug instead of a dip and sometimes it's very uncomfortable (on lots of levels). If you feel you need to hold on tight to every Follower you dip then check in with your technique.
Don't do the Dive Dip! Ladies, control yourself! Unless a Leader gives you the lead to fling yourself towards the floor, please be responsible for your own weight in a dip especially with someone you haven't danced with before. You can injure yourself and your Leader.
Air steps and aerials are for performances and jam circles. I know you just spent the weekend workshop learning those awesome tricks but please don't do them in the middle of a crowded dance floor and please don't do them with/to unsuspecting partners! Tricks like that take technique on the part of both partners and you could seriously hurt someone and yourself or an innocent bystander!
Practice good hygiene. Take a shower,wear clean clothes and deodorant. Brush your teeth. Don't eat spicy, garlicky, or strong smelling food before you go out to dance. You will be breathing it on your partners all night no matter how well you brush your teeth. Bring breath mints and if someone offers you one-take it! Don't wear heavy aftershave, cologne or perfume. Bring a change of shirts if you perspire a lot.
Compliment your partner if they do a fun move or if you enjoyed the dance.
Look at your partner. No, not stare at them, but look them in the eye from time to time while you are dancing. Smile at them, especially if they do something fun. Try to keep the negative thoughts you might be having about your own dancing at bay. We might be frowning at ourselves but our partner doesn't know that!
Continue to work on your dance skills. Old dogs CAN learn new tricks and besides, it's good for your brain and body.
Make friends of the dancers in your scene. People are more inclined to dance with people they know.
Accept rejection. Let's face it, there are going to be people out there who won't dance with you. Try not to take it too personally. If you've been appropriate in the way you handle yourself then it's going to be more about them than you. If you are being rejected often by different people then it's time to sit down with yourself or a good dance friend and have an honest conversation about the possible reasons why.
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